Superman Returns

When it was first announced that “Superman Returns” was going to be filmed, fans up and down the country grew wild, and the pressure was on for those filmmakers. They had the hopes of ten million Super-fans riding on their shoulders, and they were actually able to produce a decent movie. By no means is this film anywhere near the excellence of the original, but it has finally given Supes a chance to hold his head up. I applaud it for its nostalgic familiarity to the first film, and its decision to be a sequel that blatantly ignores the last two sequels, but its mediocre story and bland cast members somewhat disenchanted me. It’s nothing too special, but this film is definitely a step in the right direction for Supes.

When I first went to the theater to see this film, I was beside myself with excitement, I admit it. My excitement and happiness was greatly increased when the classic opening credits and familiar John Williams theme song from the first film began to play. And all throughout the film, I kept privately squeaking with joy every time a reference to the original film was dropped, such as the iconic night flight with Lois or the incredible return of Marlon Brando as Jor-el, for a brief time. I quickly realized that the film was intending to be a direct sequel to the second film in the franchise, and was choosing to ignore the existence of the last two sequels. This tidbit of information made me happier than ever, as “Superman III” and “IV” were utter garbage. This choice allowed the film to relax a bit, and create a good, unhampered story that could really work well.

The only problem was, they missed their opportunity. The storyline, I’m afraid, was very dull and completely unwanted. After this many years, a large subplot about Superman’s son and Lois Lane getting married to some stiff was not at all what audiences needed from the Man of Steel. Also, the large gap between movies could have allowed for a new, fresh villain from the comic books, but instead they threw Lex Luthor at us yet again, in another desperate bid for land, just like always. I also took issue with the utter blandness of the actors in this film. The worst of the lot was Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane, who acted terribly and was not even close to the level of the great Margot Kidder. Also Kevin Spacey as Luthor was fairly lackluster and uninspired. The most important cast member, Superman himself, sure looked the part, but he was not exactly captivating in his acting.

For the most part, “Superman Returns” did alright. It stayed true to the original and was quite entrancing to watch, but suffered from a poor story and insipid acting. This film earns a fresh seven out of ten stars; I only wish it had come sooner and earned more.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Just when the heartbroken fans of the “Superman” series thought that things couldn’t possibly get any worse, they were forced to think again. As impossible as it may seem, “Superman IV” managed to be even worse than its antecedents. The production company that made this film was well-known for being ridiculously stingy, and it shows in the special effects. This film was created in a time period where the nuclear weapons threat was still a big deal, and they incorporated that theme far too heavily into the storyline to be taken seriously. And somehow, everyone forgot how to act.

It’s hard to believe that the “Superman” franchise could have possibly allowed a film like “The Quest for Peace” to be made, but when it passed the production torch to Golan-Globus, all bets were off. The Golan-Globus production company was always notorious for being miserly, and the film’s original $36 million budget was cut to $17 million post-production. Therefore, the special effects suffered greatly. There were giant black lines around the characters every time they flew, the fight scenes looked terrible, and the running time was cut to less than an hour and a half. The latter didn’t stop anyone from impatiently checking their watches while watching, though.

One of the things that make “The Quest for Peace” so amazingly pitiful is WMD-smothered storyline. The film was created in a time period where nuclear weapons were the political centerpieces of all governmental actions, and Christopher Reeve strongly advocated to make that the primary theme of “Superman IV.” Well, his heart was in the right place, but his idea was a giant flop. Superman decided to put all of the weapons he found into a giant net floating in space, and then throw the net straight into the sun. This was cheesy enough, but then they went so far as to include a super villain called Nuclear Man. How hard is it really to incorporate some subtlety?

Both Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder stated in an interview that they considered the fourth and final film to be vastly substandard to the others, and Gene Hackman said something similar. Their opinions on the film may actually have affected the effort they put into their roles. All three of them did terrible jobs acting, and it made an already appalling film even worse.

Overall, “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” was one of the worst films ever made, and it shamed “Superman” forever. The film had a very low budget, which led to seriously low-quality special effects. The nuclear weapons theme was too obvious and way overused. The main actors did terribly this time. This film isn’t worth seeing at all, and it doesn’t earn a single star.

Superman III

It seems clear that the legacy of the “Superman” series is that each sequel is worst than the last. “Superman III” was definitely worse than “Superman II,” and since that one was bad to begin with, then where does that leave Number Three? Well, for starters, there was a director change. This director had some misunderstandings with some of the cast members, and they were actually written out of the film. The special effects were actually a lot worse than last time, which was something of a surprise. All of these things, along with overused slapstick humor and the worst villains of the 80s make for a very unpleasant movie experience.

The new director of “Superman III” wasn’t much of a people person, clearly. He actually managed to throw Lois Lane and Lex Luthor completely out of the story, just because they didn’t get along very well with him. That was a mistake of super-huge proportions, because those two were always brilliant additions to the “Superman” series. Instead, he added a new love interest, Lana Lang (why is it always L.L.?), and a two new villains, a self-aware supercomputer with Kryptonite weaponry, and an evil copy of himself. The new villains were unoriginal and completely ridiculous and the new girlfriend was just a blonde Lois Lane with inferior acting ability and no enthusiasm. These films should be directed by the fanboys.

Once again, the special effects were highly dissatisfying. I know it was the 80s and the effects are not like today, but in “Superman III” they actually got worse. Like when they tried to make Superman freeze a lake, pick it up, and drop it on a flaming building; it looked more fake than Michael Jackson’s nose. In yet another brilliant, strategic move, the genius director decided it would be helpful to stick in bad slapstick comedy to distract the action junkies. Was it funny? No. Did it help at all? Nope. Does bad slapstick comedy have any place in a movie about the Man of Steel? Absolutely and irrevocably no! This film is what modern day fans rightly call a super-fail.

Before I ever actually saw this movie, I’d heard nothing but very negative things about it. I thought that it couldn’t be as bad as what people were saying, and decided to check it out. And I saw this, and realized everything was true. Lois Lane and Lex Luthor were gone, only to be replaced by corny and clichéd characters whom no one could like. The villains were absurd, and the special effects were even worse than last time. Unnecessary and unfunny slapstick humor occupied half of the screen time, in a Superman movie, of all places. “Superman III” is not worth your time, or your money in any case. It gets 1 out of 10 stars. It’s best to just pretend it didn’t happen.

Superman II

Just a few years after the first “Superman” hit, along came the sequel that was bound to happen. “Superman II,” sadly, but expectedly, did not really live up to its predecessor. The effects did not improve from the last one at all, things got a whole lot cornier this time around, and the quality of acting ranged from good to terrible. At least they kept the theme song. It’s one of the only things in the film that didn’t disappoint on some level.

Understandably, special effects back in 1980 were nothing like they are today, but in “Superman II,” Superman still looks like a man suspended by wires who never flies in the direction his arms are pointing. If anything, the effects are worse than in the first movie. “Superman II” boasts its ability to make big explosions, and wreck stuff. This is not saying much when we saw entire planets exploding, and saw Superman flying around the Earth at a gazillion miles per second in the last movie three years prior. So the lack of improved, or at least matched, special effects was pretty disheartening.

“Superman II” was undeniably a corny movie. While turning back time by making the Earth turn clockwise in the last film is also corny, nothing beats the fact that, somehow, his magical ice palace has a machine that can turn him human just when that’s what he wants. Also, I don’t think anyone knew that Superman had the ability to make copies of himself, and to teleport too. But of course, making copies of himself to stop multiple crimes at once is out of the question. So is teleporting himself to the scene of the crime, because I guess that flying is better for the public image. He really only uses those particular powers to show off and get himself laid with Lois.

The Man of Steel himself, Christopher Reeve, delivered a smashing performance as always. With an equally gifted performance came Margot Kidder as Lois Lane. The two had a very believable chemistry, albeit a bit hidden in this sequel by unnecessary slapstick comedy. Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor was very disappointing this time around. In the first film, the director established him as a twisted, evil man in a sad scene involving a New York cop. He was still funny, of course, but we all knew what he was capable of. In this film, they dropped all of that and turned him into a obnoxious, flamboyant and silly character that audiences despised. Finally, the villainous triumvirate itself. The three Kryptonian baddies were laughable. They had no acting talent at all, and were horribly monotonous.

“Superman II” failed to live up to the standard set by its predecessor. Much of the acting was disappointing, as were the visual effects. Still, it’s worth seeing once. I give it 5 out of 10 stars.

Superman: The Movie

It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s most definitely the best Superman film ever made. Even now, more than thirty years after its debut, Christopher Reeve’s “Superman” has no match. This is the movie that kicked off the introduction to comic book movie genre, and oh, what an impressive genre it is. The whole film is an epic adventure, devoid of any complaints. This is the movie that brought us the best theme song ever written short of “Star Wars,” and some of the best characters ever to hit the big screen. The incredible success of “Superman,” unfortunately, birthed several sequels that singularly destroyed the character for more than thirty years, but he is starting to make a comeback. Of course, no one will forget the stunning first entry to the series, the most superb superhero movie ever.

The film is essentially split into two parts: The first is the origin of Superman, which takes itself very seriously, and goes on for almost half of the movie. We get to see Marlon Brando in one of his best roles, the destruction of the Kryptonian home planet, and all the events leading up to Kalel’s first time wearing the iconic costume of Superman. The second part is his move to the city of Metropolis, where Superman joins the Daily Planet newspaper, humor begins to take prevalence, and the delightful Lex Luthor makes his entrance. Each half is like a separate movie, and both are well done.

No man has ever been as perfect for the Superman role as Christopher Reeve. He embodies the character effortlessly, and switches from the suave, confident Man of Steel to the bumbling, nerdy Clark Kent with remarkable duplicity. It almost makes you believe that no one can tell the difference between the two just because of a pair of glasses. Margot Kidder as Lois Lane and Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor were incredible, and they were actually a good match for the talent of Reeve himself. In addition, the characters of Ms. Tessmacher, Otis, Jimmy Olsen, and Perry White were great accents to complement the excellence of the film.

One of the very best parts of “Superman” is the great theme song. Composed by the musical genius John Williams, it is extremely catchy, and set a new musical standard for all movies. The sheer scale of the songs, and the blasting orchestra that sounds amazing whether you have surround sound or broken headphone speakers, is truly remarkable, and sets the tone of the entire film.

The excellent film that is “Superman” gets 10 out of 10 stars, for being everything a critic or viewer could possibly want in a movie. The film screams perfection, and superheroes can never be looked at the same again. This film will make you believe a man can fly.